Driving in Paris isn’t for Everyone

Driving in France, especially Paris, isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Navigating the Etoile at the pinnacle of the Champs-Élysées, with its eleven intersecting streets, has caused some drivers to have cardiac arrest. I’m not kidding.  More than a few cars have been abandoned out of sheer terror. I used to close my eyes when even the most experienced taxi driver, who needs nerves of steel, would approach the circle. Not everyone is comfortable with the sensation of driving or riding in a bumper car and being a “can you hit me” target. Vehicles of all sizes and at various speeds come from each and every direction and drivers need eyes in the back of their heads.  One of the chores many American expats dread is obtaining a French driver’s license. Once someone is issued a carte de séjour, a resident’s card that gives them the right to remain in France for a specified period without leaving, as well as the pleasure of paying the French tax man, they’re required to obtain a French driver’s license within a year if they want to own a car and validate their insurance.  Some multinational corporations tell their non-EU executives to take public transportation and have a company car at their disposal to use when they’re on official business. If families are involved and they need to play chauffeur, they’re going to have to bite the bullet and absent themselves from the office in order to be legal when they climb behind the wheel.  Unless you come from one of the nine states in the U.S. that offers people with French license reciprocity, plan on forking over approximately 1000 € and spending 20 hours studying plus on-the-road practice. Just because you’ve been driving forever in the U.S., don’t assume you’ll pass the French driver’s test from hell on the first round. Few expats do and many have to retake the classes.   One friend who couldn’t hack the exam in Paris ended up taking it in Provence where she had a second home. She had to re-take classes from a local school and pay for the privilege. But the people in charge of issuing driver licenses in the country tend to be kinder in the south.  Most Americans who live in Paris use public transportation and, when they want to get out of town, rent a car from AutoEurope. All they need is a U.S. driver’s license that’s valid for at least another six months and their passport. Renting is so much less expensive than owning a car, maintaining it and paying for parking. Having done the calculations, I realized I could call a limousine if I only wanted to go to the grocery store and financially be ahead and then some.  By now you’re probably asking yourself why French drivers aren’t the best and why most have a “take no prisoners” attitude.  One of the key reasons is that once they get their license at the age of 18, it’s valid for their entire lifetime. No eye tests are required and when a person turns 75 (that’s the rule in most American states), there’s no need to get a health certificate from the physician, much less a certificate that they can actually see. Until last year, the Washington, D.C. government required that, in order to renew a driver’s permit after someone turned 75, they had to take another road test although that’s no longer the case because it smelled of age discrimination.   When driving in the French countryside, don’t be shocked if you find yourself behind a clunker of a car that isn’t going anywhere near the speed limit. When you get the opportunity to pass the car, don’t be surprised if you see someone of a certain age behind the wheel. And if a policeman stops the driver and requests a license, it will have the photo from when the permit was issued.   A neighbor of mine from Provence called his 92-year-old father’s agent and asked him to revoke the car’s insurance coverage, since his father was a menace to himself and everyone else who came into his path. Dad was furious about having to surrender his car keys. But Jean-Jacques slept better and no longer had to make sporadic trips to the hospital after the car had hit a tree.  Ah, nostalgia – but I’m in favor of people being tested in order to ensure they should still be driving. A person driving too slowly can cause as many accidents as someone who’s driving like a bat out of hell. But, given reasonable sobriety, chances are probable the latter category of drivers have better reflexes.   Cars, no matter where, are potential weapons. Count me among the group that approves of not giving a person a life-time right to drive when they’re no longer in shape.  © Paris New Media, LLC [email protected]