Going Home but Dealing

By the time you read this, I’ll be sleeping in our own bed in Paris – complete with a new feather bed covering the mattress. Naturally, it was made in China (everything seems to be) but I ordered it from Smart Bargains.  These feather beds are recent features that many upscale hotels, where we stayed during our around-the-world trip, are using.  For relatively little money, why not spoil myself at home?    As Born to Shop Suzy Gershman says, her WiFi (wireless) Internet connect has changed her life and she can type from anywhere in her apartment including her bed.    Even though we generally take a taxi from CDG to our apartment, we reserved a private shuttle from  Airport Connection.  In spite of my preaching that people should pack light, that wasn’t exactly the case this trip. We were away nearly two months and traveled to India and Asia, where we accumulated (some) treasures to remind us of this incredible voyage. We knew no taxi driver would accept our luggage, and if he did, by the time we were charged for each suitcase, it would cost more than a private shuttle where the driver stands outside of the customs area ready to help you with (in this case) luggage carts.   However, before returning home, I spent the last ten days in Washington, DC.  Many people ask me how I juggle my life as an expatriate. The title “expat” is kinda scary since it denotes you’ve given up your country.  Many of us prefer to think of ourselves as Americans who have chosen to live in France for myriad reasons, whether they are work or lifestyle related.       Living across the Atlantic has become more complicated in the past three years. My mother is failing and I’m responsible for her care.  Thank goodness for email and the many people who make up the “team.”  And it is a team — doctors, caregivers, the drugstore, the bank (thank goodness for Paytrust – a service that receives the bills which I can view online and then pay with a click of the mouse).   Vonage enables me to have a US – 202 line so there’s zero excuse for someone not returning my call. I even added an 800 number for a few extra pennies.    It does take coordination and being willing to hop on a plane on short notice. My trips to DC have become ever so much more frequent but c’est la vie.  I’ve subscribed to every “last minute” travel site and am a dedicated sleeper on planes. No one tries to speak to me when I am wearing my Bose earphones , padded black-out eye shades and am wrapped in a blanket. It certainly helps with jet lag.   Airline food is to food as military music is to music. Skip it and eat something before you board the flight. Some people don’t take pills.  I do. I consider trans-Atlantic flights one of the few times I can be really alone. Many planes are soon going to be WiFi enabled – some already are. But I’m not looking forward to that day.  Before the plane takes off, I want to be asleep.    Even though my trips to Washington are far more frequent now than in previous years, I no longer expect to see my former friends unless they are very close ones. People move on and you can’t expect them to put their lives and friendships on hold waiting to see you. Email is a wonderful way to communicate but my friends (baby-boomers) are all over the place.  Additionally, I’m a part of the sandwich generation. My mother needs me but, happily, my son and daughter-in-law don’t since they have busy and fulfilled lives. They spend an enormous amount of time parenting their daughter Saira, rather than hitting the Washington scene.    My grandchild calls me Gran but more often than not, I don’t answer, since Gran is what Miles calls my mother.  How do we become so old so quickly?    Occasionally, I consider moving back to Washington – but that’s an ephemeral thought. Miles and Mira mumble something about leaving the city and that shoots the idea of my being a full-time grandmother. Besides, their precious off-spring will have a much better time (and will profit from experiencing different cultures) when she’s old enough to come to France to visit her Gran. Already, she’s been here three times and spent November in India. Her cousins live in Denmark and her maternal grandmother is in London.  By the time she’s nine, she will have traveled everywhere. Why do I know this?  Because she has a placemat with a map of the world.  We study it and she knows where all of her relatives live and wants to know about other countries.   One of her Christmas presents was a suitcase from LL Bean. She won’t be three until the end of April. But, she pulls the suitcase around the house talking about her next trip. She even packs and unpacks her “essentials.” Perhaps she’s inherited my travel gene.  I hope so. May the world be hers.