Are you Blue?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the sort of person that goes out to see those “blue (x-rated) movies.”  I think I’d absolutely die if someone actually saw me paying US dollars to go to a theater or even a video store to rent one!  But I have seen a blue movie or two or three in my time!  The first blue movie I’d ever seen was nine years ago—in France—on public television. Shocking, but true!  Nine years ago, we find my husband and I on our honeymoon to France.  He had told me about these blue movies shown on late night TV, instead of Johnny Carson reruns, and I was intrigued, having never seen a blue movie before!  Imagine none of the embarrassment of paying money at the theater and getting spotted by your 19 year old neighbor who’s mother you swap recipes with regularly!  No trying to buy one at the video store, while the clerk gleefully holds up the video with Debbie, who “does” Dallas blaring on the cover, and snickering very loudly, “Would you like a bag for this, MA’AM?”  No calling the cable company, and asking, “Now does that come with the Playboy channel?”  Just snap on the tele, and voila, blue movies in the comfort and privacy of your own home.  It wasn’t the reason I wanted to honeymoon in Paris, but at the time, I sure was curious! Interestingly enough, nine years ago, most of the broadcast (as opposed to cable) television stations in France (and the same ones owned today) were owned by the national government; and from around 11:30pm until around 3:00am, all you got was basically commercial free, porn courtesy of the French National government.  (And the thinking behind that was…).  When the commercials eventually do show up, the women in those are stark-raving nekkid too!  Porn on late night French television has been a staple for 27 years.  Unbelievable! Anyway, the first night I tuned in, I remember there was a park, and a couple (guy and a gal), and, I’d never seen anything like it!  I was uncomfortable at first, but then, the couple was frolicking, and most of this was new to me, so it was interesting- I couldn’t stop watching!  Add to that that they were in the middle of a public park for heaven’s sake, and not one bystander (and there were many) seemed to bat an eyelash!  I remember seeing scars on the woman’s boobs, where she probably had some sort of enhancement surgery, and thinking “Wow!  Never seen that before!”  Around 2:30am, my husband asked me if I had any plans of going to bed…”Wait a minute!”  I kept saying! In the end, I quickly learned that if you’ve seen one blue movie, you’ve literally seen them all; the novelty quickly wore off.  Plots are as thin as the women’s dresses, and as weak as the buttons that pop off the men’s shirts. I turned my attention back to my new husband, and getting enough sleep so I was rested enough to explore Paris the next day. In writing this article, my husband informs me that those midnight movies we saw in France were not really, “x-rated”, but rather “hard-core” R-rated.  “It’s Boobies,” he said “and not much else.”   True, but it’s free entertainment only found in France!  If you want to find it for yourself, you better move fast!  Nine years after I saw my first blue movie, in July 2002, due to the corruption of children and exposure of children to “immoral acts,” (which surprises me that “children” are up past 11:30pm) there is now a groundswell of support for taking blue movies off French television! One of the proposals up for voting by the French legislature puts a whopping 93% tax on porn movies produced for television in France.  According to one French study, children ages 4-12 in France are exposed to at least one minute of sex on television a day, leading to the degradation of moral character and encouragement of violence against women. So if going to France and seeing free blue movies is on your “To Do” list, do it fast, before the opportunity goes away.     Bonjour Paris is pleased to have Cat Wong as a contributor.