What one learns when living in France

What many people do not understand that if the front door of an apartment is locked but NOT bolted and there's a robbery, your insurance company will say "dommage." You're not insured.

Thanks Stacy! I too had problems with the apartment building door... I couldn't close it properly and received a bit of a scolder from a resident on the ground floor. I left it unlocked, unknowingly. I apologized profusely and then she showed me how to do it.
Then I had problems with the apartment door -- it had one of those OLD OLD keyes, very long with a couple of teeth on the end. It had to be turned in the lock three times to open and close.

So, I'm door challenged....


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"Minette, you're not the only person I've seen who didn't realize that. One time I was in the metro and a group of Japanese tourists approached the car and stood in front of the closed door, looking at it. Just before the buzzer sounded, someone in the car got up and opened the door for them to enter.

Not long ago I encountered an American couple in the entryway of my building, looking at the door and trying to figure out how to open it. They didn't know that they needed to press the button on the wall to unlock it.

Lots of mysteries here for the unsuspecting and uninitiated!"

As far as I know, unless the conductor opens them (which happens occasionally if the train is stopped for a delay), they're all manual. The older cars have the little handle that lifts up, and the newer ones have the green button that you push.

I can't find it now, but a couple of days ago I was reading an article which commented on the fact that in US subways the doors open automatically only once the car is stopped, whereas in Paris you can open the doors while the car is coming to a stop but still moving -- the writer's point being that Americans are protected (given the litigious society in the US, it's understandable) much more than the French, who generally are trusted more to keep themselves safe.

Minette, you're not the only person I've seen who didn't realize that. One time I was in the metro and a group of Japanese tourists approached the car and stood in front of the closed door, looking at it. Just before the buzzer sounded, someone in the car got up and opened the door for them to enter.

Not long ago I encountered an American couple in the entryway of my building, looking at the door and trying to figure out how to open it. They didn't know that they needed to press the button on the wall to unlock it.

Lots of mysteries here for the unsuspecting and uninitiated!

Oh I agree Ellen, very charming. I was hoping to leave Paris with one, but alas, there was not to be had for me... sniffle...

Thanks Al. See, I have tons to learn! I took the 6 line a lot (near where i stayed) and that train at least, definitely had manual doors --an odd site for a New Yorker! But on the cooler side, the free entertainment was great -- a trio of Spaniards who belted out a decent version of "Volari" that really made me giggle -- and another man and woman who performed a lovely bit of opera that freed up some of my spare change. (Yeah, I'm a sucker for courageous efforts in public.)

Well, at my age I have no problem asking where the "toilettes" are (and have, many times)! Fortunately, it's a universal word in much of Europe.

I love the bise. It was one of the endearing things I remember about living in France years ago and I still love the tradition.

I know we've talked about "bon appetit" before here and I just read in France magazine that it's a no-no. I'd love to understand why!

Great article, by the way. I loved her story about running to the corner market in the middle of making cookies.

Not all...just of a certain vintage is this necessary. I would venture to say (althought I won't swear anything sacred on it) that most train doors open automatically......or by the conductor.

Yep! I wasn't sure if that was a "proper, public" word or if it was more used with people one knows or even if it was a vulgar word, so I struggled till the waiter said it.

The other "odd, little thing" I learned was that one has to manually open the metro door! I was very surprised on my first metro ride and saw people opening the doors at their stops. It took me a few more rides to watch carefully and learn how to do it. Though I admit, I never opened one myself -- just waited for someone to go before me at all my stops. I have no problem admitting in public that I'm not mechanically inclined but I wasn't about to demonstrate it -- not that way!!

"Toilettes" (plural) is definitely what you should ask wherever you have "to go".

So "Où sont les toilettes ?"

OK, so I'm recalling a stop in Cafe Mistral ... where was I ... a wide blvd on the Seine directly across from Notre Dame -- I had a view from my table. I really had "to go." It was about 9pm and very quiet inside the cafe. I walked over to the waiter and realized I had no idea how, exactly, to properly ask him where the ladies room was. I fumbled and think I said, "ou se trouve... ummm... hmmmm... " After a few seconds he asked, "toilette?" YES!! And he walked me to it and left. This was my first use of a cafe toilette and I forgot that I'd need a coin to get in. I was trying to read the print about which coin I needed and suddenly, a tap on my shoulder. It was the waiter handing me a coin. Hahaaa!

I think I must have wandered through Paris looking like a lost puppy because i've lost count of the number of people who were so so soooo nice to me!

For those in the know... of one is a nice restaurant does one also say "toilette?" Or something else?

Thank you ... guess with "my premium" membership to the NY Times comes certain disadvantages. Here is the complete URL (I hope)

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/23/weekinre...are.&st=nyt

"Same here. I had to dig it out of the archives. A nice article. And I agree with Stacy's observations."

It has now occurred to me that some of you may be 'archivally challenged'. For you, then, here is a link that currently works:

http://tinyurl.com/343yw4

Same here. I had to dig it out of the archives. A nice article. And I agree with Stacy's observations.

When I WENT TO THE link pprovided by Karen ,Elaine was not reachable.link didn''t work.

I see that my 2 cents today are worth about .013 Euro cents (which is to say, not worth much!). I agree with much of what she said but will make a few comments.

Regarding saying "bon appetit": I've read that advice elsewhere (perhaps the same place Elaine Sciolino did, along with the advice to never use the powder room in somebody else's home). Now, she and I obviously do not run in the same social circles, and perhaps things are different among the people she frequents, but when I asked my French acquaintances about this, they all agreed that they had never heard such a thing and that it was customary and quite acceptable to say "bon appetit" when beginning to eat the meal.

As far as having to use the powder room, I say good grief! No reasonable person should expect you to be uncomfortable, especially if you've gone through an aperitif, wine and/or water with dinner, and possibly a digestif as well... though I do agree that I wouldn't ask for "les toilettes" but rather ask politely and discreetly if I could wash my hands, which gets the idea across in a more genteel fashion.

Note that the "bise" (normally in this case one would say "bise" rather than "bisou", as in "faire la bise") can be 2, 3, or 4, depending on the region of origin of the persons involved. Even the French in a particular region don't always agree on how many it should be, so follow the other person's lead and be prepared to be a good sport if there's an extraneous bise or two.

If you've seen the prices of lingerie here (and I'm not even referring to the exchange rate for us Americans), it's easy to understand how French women can spend 20% of their clothing budget on lingerie. Lingerie is important here, even if you're just dressing for yourself. And if you're not, well, most Frenchmen are appreciative of nice lingerie too.

What one learns when living in France!

Here's an interesting article written by a pro. Please add your two cents:

Ideas & Trends: A Guide to the French. Handle With Care.
By ELAINE SCIOLINO

The Times’s departing Paris bureau chief offers eight lessons for living in France.


http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/23/weekinre...70&emc=eta1