What to Do When You Are Unsure Where to Eat?

I wrote before about finding out if places were still in business. In this essay I explore what to do if you don’t know where to eat. Most of us who are food-obsessed spend much too much time researching restaurants and restaurant options whether we’re eating a few blocks from home or in the middle of La France Profond. Thus, before leaving home we have a pretty good idea of where we’re going (and have reserved, as I wrote of last week). But (as I also explored in the Fable of the Lion and the Squirrel) sometimes despite all our well-laid plans, kitchens break down, gas pipes burst, the water is cut off and chefs get in vehicular accidents. What do you do then? From a purely unscientific point of view, watching a normal person find a place to eat, this is what I think happens: 1. He/she looks for something familiar – whether it’s McDo’s or Maitre Kanter – because it delivers predictable food for rock-bottom prices. 2. He/she walks up and down tourist areas looking at the menus posted outside (for what? I’ve never figured out). 3. He/she asks the hotel staff, which unless it’s a Parisian palace hotel concierge, is akin to asking a clochard where to get a fancy cocktail. 4. He/she trusts that the deity will look out for them. The abnormal person, however, preoccupied with food, has already performed a Clintonian (as in William Jefferson) triangulation among: 5. The guidebooks (Michelin in the provinces, Gault-Millau, Pudlo and Gantie ). 6. The websites and blogs. 7. Google. 8. The guy (and it’s usually a guy) at the local newspaper (and it’s often not the restaurant critic) who responds when you call and ask the operator/receptionist (if there are any left) to pass your call on to the “food guy.” And except for the rare culinary desert, one manages fine. These thoughts were prompted way out in Troyes after not getting into: Le Valentino 35 rue Paillot de Montabert T: 03.25.73.14.14 Closed Saturday lunch, Sunday dinner and Mondays Menus 25-45 € ©by John Talbott 2008